4

4. That's the total of embryo's we have growing in a lab on the other side of town. Only 4, I feel gutted.
But first to write about yesterday. We got there nice and early, and I was in PAIN. I could hardly walk. Throughout the pre-surgery interviews with the nurses and the anaesthetist they talked about hyper stimulation. The anaesthetist said that since they thought I had 20 eggs, and was already showing signs of being hyperstimmed that they would run a bottle of albumin post-surgery. Those few moments lying on the table while they fuss around getting ready are so nerve racking, but the nurses were very considerate and I felt very safe in their hands.
I hardly had time to blink and I was in recovery. I felt ok but had a little bit of pain, although not as much as before. I immediately asked how many eggs we got, and the nurse pointed to my hand where Warren had written 12. I was disappointed at that, where was my 20! Warren came by shortly after and said that I had 20 follicles but that some were empty or had immature eggs. I tried not to feel too disappointed, 12 is still ok and the cycle where we had Charlotte we only got 11.
I spent the next few hours lying quite comfortably while they ran the albumin in and then some more saline. It did take a while for the pain to go, but truthfully the cannula where the drip went hurt a whole lot more, I hate those things! So I didn't get up and dressed until 11.30. It was only then that I saw Warren had written the number 12 on my other hand, my arms, my feet, my calf, my thighs... I had to ask if he had even written it on my forehead! The nurse laughed and commented on Warren's idiosyncrasies - he certainly is a character.
By the time I got home I was feeling ok. A bit sore and groggy but not as bad as the last cycles. Charlotte had behaved wonderfully for Grandma and Grandad, and hadn't seemed to miss me at all although she did want to climb all over me which was not pleasant.
By later in the day I was starting to get anxious about hyperstimming. My stomach was bloated like I was pregnant, and I had some shortness of breath. But overnight this had eased, and the pain was quite manageable. I really think that they albumin has kept alot of those symptoms under control so I am really grateful for them doing that.
This morning I called Warren's rooms and got the news on the embryos. Of the 12 eggs they could only use 6, and so we now have 4 embryo's. I spoke to Warren and he said that to have this much attrition probably indicates that I have poor egg quality, and there is just nothing you can do about that. I feel quite gutted, on top of all the other issues I now have dodgy eggs too. I am now quite relieved that we started trying again so soon, even though I don't feel quite ready, and this will only get worse as I get older. Warren said that we won't know the grading until tomorrow so we may even lose more of them. We are booked in for the ET on Thursday at 7.30 am. In the meantime I start on the drug regime which now involves taking 16 tablets a day (including 4 progesterone and 4 oestrogen), 4 progesterone pessaries a day, and one injection of clexane. I only hope that I get to Thursday with at least 2 left. This waiting part is so hard. And looking at Charlotte today has made it harder. She is so beautiful and perfect, yes I am happy to have her and so very grateful, but I would like another one. Please.