Permission to eat!

We sent to see Sile and my physician yesterday for the 24 week checkup. My physician was mostly happy with me. My BP and heart rate were normal in his office and all my blood work came back just fine. I did however forget to mention to him that my heart rate has been up in the morning and this week I had the sudden urge to lie down where I was (not really a faint, just I didn't want to stand up anymore. I had to sms James to come downstairs and he freaked a bit as I was lying on the kitchen floor!). So he doesn't want to see me for another 8 weeks.

We then went and saw Sile, who got annoyed at me for not telling him about my little episode. Whoops. So she has recommended upping the digoxin a little bit. We also talked about the return of my vomiting and my pelvis going. She recommended to keep taking the antacid which is good, and she has agreed to lower my dose of the metformin. This is fantastic as I do think it isn't helping with how I'm feeling. It definitely is affecting my eating as I can't eat much and if I have anything too fatty or sugary it has disastrous consequences!

Sile did remark that some women are miserable during pregnancy and she would be surprised if she saw me for no. 3. On the one hand it was nice to get some validation that this isn't an easy road, but it has raised something James and I have talked about: that he doesn't want me to do this again!

Since I haven't put on any weight in the last 3 months, and in her words I am "miserable" she has given me permission to eat whatever I like!!! Usually she is so strict on diet and weight gain and has repeatedly told me that I'm not eating for two. To hear her say that I shouldn't worry about it and just eat what I feel like was such a huge relief! So last night we went and bought a chocolate bavarian cheesecake and had some for desert and it was GOOOOOD! tee hee. I'm not going to go crazy as I still find it difficult to eat, but at least I don't have to feel guilty about what I do have.

Sile will be away in January so I will see her locum who apparently is a lovely man (she said that he trained her and also Warren, so I'm also figuring he is quite old). I also have to do my glucose tolerance test (GTT). This is where you go in, they take some blood, you have a big sugary drink then sit there for two hours before they take more blood. Fun. But hopefully it will come out fine and I don't have gestational diabetes. I will have to remember not to eat too much sugar in the days before!

24 weeks

Waddle, waddle, waddle. I was 24 weeks yesterday and that is about all I can do. I'm pretty happy to have reached this point. It means we are viable. I know that doesn't guarantee anything, but the odds do improve dramatically. But I am really suffering. My pubic symphysis disorder (PSD) which has been niggling away since day one has suddenly gotten worse. We went for a walk last Sunday afternoon, then decided to go and watch some local carols by candlelight. They were a bit lame, but Charlotte loved them and they had fireworks. Charlotte is now walking around going "bang, bang". But later that night the damage from doing all that walking was revealed when I literally couldn't even get out of bed to go to the bathroom. James had to help me to walk. It has been agony. I saw a physio last week who ordered a belt and did some pressure point release. She also taped me up temporarily but I couldn't leave it on that long as the tape really annoys me. The belt arrived today and it is a bit different from my old one. I had forgotten though how uncomfortable they are; but at least it can give me some relief. The belt helps to stabilise the pelvis. Unfortunately this isn't going to get better, until baby comes out that is. I am really worried what the next few months will bring as the pain I've had over the last few days has been nearly unbearable.

Unfortunately my 24th week also brought a return of my morning sickness. The last few days I've felt really bad and have been vomiting again. At first I thought I had a gastro as it did surprise me a bit - I've been managing so much better lately. But by mid morning I was feeling better and today was the same. I did stop taking the antacid the other day so that could be the reason for it. I just wasn't sure if I should continue to take it or not.
I'm also still struggling with my pulse. This morning I was overcome with the sensation of my heart racing (even though I think it wasn't up that much, maybe 120 bpm) and had to lie down. I think I scared James as I called out to him and he found me lying on the kitchen floor. I did feel better after a little lie down though.

At least bubs has been entertaining me with his kicks. I love that feeling, except when he decides to use my cervix as a trampoline. ouchie. Actually not so much ouch as really frickin weird. I love feeling the kicks and get really scared when I haven't felt them for a while.

We see Sile and the specialist again this week so I will be bringing all of this up with her. I know there is nothing she can do for my pelvis but at least I can have a whinge about it.

Rain rain go away

Ok so this has been bothering me, and I do mean this in a truly sincere way.

I hope that the weather improves by the time Oprah arrives.

I know, I know, that is really really silly. I do like Oprah, but I'm not overly fussed about her. But such alot as been made of her coming, and the fact that she and a few hundred Americans are travelling around to various parts of the country. And I want them to like us!

Whenever we have had overseas visitors come and stay, and we do all the touristy things, I always want the weather to be nice. Australia really is a beautiful country, but nobody likes a holiday when the weather is bad. At the moment, we have hardly seen the sun for days on end. I am really sick of these grey skies, and everything is just so soggy.

I don't know where they are going, but I know that Sydney Harbour on a sunny day is simply beautiful. The water literally sparkles, and the Opera house just glows. On a rainy day it is all grey and dreary. And the barrier reef is best seen on a sunny day when the water turns emerald green or so clear you can see the fish swimming metres below you! At least a cold and wet day won't spoil the Barossa - it might even make it better as they snuggle up to a fire drinking red wine! And a little bit of grey misty weather makes the Blue mountains worthwhile.

Maybe this means I'm in desperate need of a holiday. Whatever the reason, I do hope the weather improves!

A letter to my nephew

Dear Daniel,

A year has passed since you entered the world. From that first moment you were loved by so many. And even though you lived only a few short hours, that love continues today.

You are my 4th nephew, and I would have loved to spoil you. I would have been the Aunt who buys you chocolates and lollies when you visit, then give you back to your parents. I hope that you would have liked the Christmas and birthday gifts that we sent. Some of them may have been silly, some may have been cool. But I will always remember.

I am sure that Charlotte and bubba would have loved playing with you. When you came to visit you all could have played in the pool all day, then camped out in the backyard at night.

As your Aunt I would have loved to have been there for your 21st birthday. Seen you finish school and go to uni. I would have been the Aunt who got slightly tipsy at your wedding and hugged everyone. And sent you little gifts when you started your own family. I could have told you stories about your Mum (which of course she would deny).

As your Aunt, my heart still breaks everyday that I never got to hold you and share all of these things. You will always be in my heart and never forgotten.

Love, Aunty Janet