BFN

The blood test today confirmed what I already knew, it's a BFN. I had a bit of a cry this morning after I called them but I am ok now. Charlotte was awake from 5.30 am this morning and she crashed about 10.30 am and slept until after 12 which was actually a godsend (mind you, that is all she slept until bedtime so she was a total whingebag all afternoon). It gave me some quiet time and I just had a rest, and I think that's what I needeed. I also think that because the last few weeks have been so hard physically and emotionally, right now it is just a relief that it is all over.
Tonight I only took the prednisone. No more drugs or injections. I have to taper off the prednisone, you can't just stop taking it or you go into adrenal shock or something like that. And knowing my luck that would happen! So now I just have to wait for AF to arrive, I'm a bit worried that I will have a really heavy one but just need to wait and see.
James and I had a big fight the other night. He said that he didn't want me to do another cycle as the physical cost is just too high. I just couldn't talk to him after that. Yes I know that we could do a whole fresh cycle and still end up with nothing, but I feel like we have to try. We talked again tonight about it and he said that he would support me if that is I want to do. I don't want to do it until at least June/July anyway, so it gives me a few months to recuperate. We are actually ok financially, after all my worrying. A few VERY frugal months means we are still at break even point, and we got back more from medicare than we thought. I haven't added it all up yet, but we will probably only be $3000 out of pocket, rather than the 4-5k I was expecting.
So I've had a few glasses of wine tonight. I am super tired and just feel really drained. We are going up north for Easter and I am really looking forward to getting away even if it is only to Mum and Dad's. Tomorrow we have our goddaughters 5th birthday party and I am looking forward to that. Life goes on.