Who needs sleep...?

Enough of the flashbacks.

So Charlotte has never really been a good sleeper. She developed severe reflux when she was about 2 weeks old, and it really affected how she would settle. We even had a stay at sleep school to try and help us out - which it did. But still, I would give anything for a decent nights sleep. Or more than 4 hours at a time. What I find frustrating at the moment is that she is so variable. I don't know from one night to the next what time she will wake up, how many feeds she will want, if you can settle her again easily, whether she will need a nappy change. I just didn't expect to still be doing 4 am feeds when she was nearly 9 months old.
The last few weeks she has been waking up around midnight, sometimes needing a feed, sometimes she will just be rocked and she falls back to sleep. But then she wakes between 3 and 5 for another feed. The closer it is to 5am, the less likely she is to falling asleep, so she can be up for the day. It is so exhausting.
People say how hard sleep deprivation is, but until you experience it you just can't comprehend. Unfortunately it affects every part of your life. I just feel so cranky alot of the time, and James and I seem to fight alot. Or if I'm not cranky then I'm sad. I really notice it if I have to go out of the house, I can be a bit of a menace with the pram and just wander aimlessly around, bumping into things.
I just hope things improve soon.
On a lighter note, Charlotte was just so cute today. In the last few weeks she has begun to pull herself up to standing, but she does it as much as she can now. But today she was standing at the windowsill and got stuck, she couldn't get down. After a few minutes of her crying I realised what was wrong and came to her aid. It won't be long I think before she is walking!