Flashback - Last FET

In April we went to a different FS for another FET. He was alot more full on in terms of approach, and his mannerism was so much friendlier, if not a little ocker (he kept telling James and I to "have a root" and that I was an "alright sheila").
He recommended a stimulated FET, so I went back on the FSH on a very low dose. I was also taking prednisone, cardiprin, oestrogen and progesterone tablets, and clexane injections, a blood thinner. The clexane left a bruise on my skin, so after doing it for a few weeks my abdomen was left horrendously black and blue, and they sure did sting! We had to do a trigger injection, and unfortunately James picked up the wrong needle from the chemist and it was MASSIVE. It was the only time I absolutely balked at doing an injection. Luckily my mum (a retired nurse) was stying with us so she was able to do it. You know that your dignity has forever been erased when your mum is sticking a great big needle in your arse!
At this point we had 3 frozen embryos left, but on the day of thawing, only two survived. I was a bit taken aback when I called the pathology lab and they told me this. I was happy that the two surviving were doing well, but felt really sad that one hadn't survived. It was the only one of the 11 fertilised that hadn't survived the thaw. It really hit me that that was possibly a baby gone just like that. And it also made me realise the silliness and the enormity of the whole process, that I was sitting at my office desk, staring at the wall while my baby grew in a lab on the other side of town.
At the transfer, the new FS had a different procedure. He gave me a valium before the transfer, then one after with a brandy to wash it down with. (I'd been offered brandy's in the other transfers, something the clinic does. At first I thought they were joking, but no.) It was all over by 9am. By 9.30 am we were in the car going home and I was SMASHED. James was laughing at me as I was sitting there asleep with my mouth hanging open, drooling away. Valiums and brandy prove a highly effective sleep agent.
We continued with the drugs, and the 2WW was horrendous. I felt crampy like all of the other BFN's, so I was convinced that it hadn't worked. I was already mentally planning what we would do, which involved going overseas for a while, buying a sportscar, selling the house etc.