One step forward, two steps back

Once again time is passing too quickly. We have been quite busy here doing lots of things. James went away for business, they started work on fixing our house, and we finally had a holiday.

I also dropped the dex altogether. But don't get too excited. It happened the same week as the anniversary of my radiation. Normally I like to mark milestones like this, but for some reason I just let this one go. I re-read my blog post from a year ago and I found it quite ironic that just like a year ago, I was sick. Yep I got a cold from the kids which turned into a nasty infection. Nevertheless, I tried to persevere with dropping the dex. I had some positive signs from stopping it - my appetite was decreasing, I could feel a lightness in my mood and my self. However, the nausea was getting worse. And the dizziness. I was having days where I was actually vomiting and needed to take 4 doses of my anti-nausea meds (when I have been managing with one).  I found too that I was forgetting words and really struggling with talking. Then my balance went and I started to fall over (walls are handy sometimes!). So I went back on the dex - up to 0.5mg. After a few days I started to feel better again. Then while we were away on holidays I had an allergic reaction to the sunscreen (this has happened a few times lately with other things; my GP doesn't seem to know why but I think it is related somehow) so I went up to 1mg again.

So two months later I am back to where we started. I am a little disappointed with this. Although last week, all week, was a good week. And the last few days feel like good days. Right now, I feel good if not very confused. Yes I need to be off the dex, but if it gives me a good quality of life then surely that outweighs the side effects?? I should drop it again but James has yet another trip coming up so I don't want to change anything until he gets back. I also need to go and get some tests done and arrange my next MRI but I am just a bit over all of that so I keep putting it off.

In the meantime, I am coming to accept that being good one day, and rotten the next, is just part of my life now. So while today is good I will enjoy it. I'd better go and do something productive then like putting washing away, or maybe have another cuppa.