Where is your village?

"It takes a village to raise a child" is a much often quoted African proverb. You can imagine how this proverb came to be. The women of a village there for a child's birth, to help the mother through those early days, to look after toddlers while others cooked and cleaned, and to guide each other's children through life.

In our society, we no longer have villages. The rise of suburbia can mean an endless line of houses with shutters drawn, people not knowing who their neighbours are. Families become separated and spread out. Mothers, sisters, aunts, no longer live side-by-side, but many hundreds or thousands of kilometres away. Motherhood is isolating, particularly when your village has been divided.

However today, unlike in any other time, we have the benefit of new villages being created every day, in places you wouldn't think.

For me, my villages exist not just in this suburb, but on-line. Through the joys of the internet I have found many groups where I can get support, share stories, get advice, have a cry and a laugh. I found some internet forums when I was pregnant with Charlotte for Mums all due at the same time. Over 4 years later, this group is still going strong through the wonder of facebook. Yes I know some people don't like it, but for me, it is an outlet, and a way to communicate with the world. I have also found other groups that have helped me navigate this tricky path of motherhood - one for IVF mums, one for brain tumour support, one for young people with cancer, and so on. Each of these groups helps me get through the tough days, as they know exactly what I am going through. 

Of course there are always risks talking to people on the internet. There have been some people come and go who I have questioned their mental state. Some people are just outright mean and nasty. Others a little too eccentric for my liking. Unfortunately some spats do occur; it is sometimes hard in a print media to tell if someone is joking or being sarcastic. I found that I use abbreviations more than I should. I like LOL a lot, even though I never LOL in real life. (I'm more of a sniggerer). And I quite like my winky, smiley face. ;) However I have also met some of these virtual friends, and they are just delightful. But I am proud to say that all of them are my friends. These friends have supported me through the tough times - one group bought me a gorgeous spa voucher when I was first diagnosed as a treat, another sent me flowers when I was in hospital and someone special sent something for the kids. I also would like to think that I am there for my friends too when they need it.

While it may not be traditional, these groups are now part of my village. For which I am eternally grateful.

Where is your village?