Time to be thankful

Sometimes life rolls along and we barely notice that a day has passed, often complaining and moaning about trivial issues that at the time seem monumental. Other times life comes up and gives you a giant smack on the head. This feels like such a time.

In early December, my much loved big sister gave birth to a baby boy, D, at 32 weeks. She had had several issues with her pregnancy, and at 29 weeks her waters broke. An infection had taken hold and the baby was delivered by emergency caesarian. Unfortunately the infection was resistant to antibiotics, and D died in my sister's arms only 15 hours after he was born.

Initially my grief was overwhelming, not just for the loss of my nephew, but also for the pain which my sister and her family were going through. I kept looking at Charlotte and bursting into tears, thinking how I would have felt had something happened to her. We travelled interstate to attend the funeral which did help with the grief. The service was held in the grounds of the crematorium and the location was just lovely. The sun was shining, and at one point, a little blue wren was hopping around near the casket. I am not a religious person by any means, but I saw this as a sign that D was with us. It was also great that the family could all be together at such a difficult time, and I felt that some of the healing could begin.

Unfortunately, only two days after the funeral, my grandfather suddenly passed away. He was nearly 89 although it did happen suddenly. The juxtaposition of mourning for a life lost too early and one who had lived a long and good life was all too acutely felt. I felt though that I had cried my river of tears already, so found that I wasn't overly emotional at this time. But it did affect me, and physically my body said enough was enough and started to shut down. I became extremely fatigued and then developed a nasty cold sore and then a yucky virus.

However, despite all the grief, there was one good thing to come of it. All of our family were together for the first time in many years. We had a wonderful Christmas together. I have never felt more thankful or grateful for the family that I have, and also for the precious gift that is my baby girl. I think this is a wonderful legacy for D to have left, and shows how powerful one life, however shortly lived, can be.