Stop it

Ok life, you can stop kicking me in the head now, I've had enough. Seriously. So much little stuff keeps on happening that all rolled into one makes life really hard at the moment.

Charlotte had her 12 month immunisations earlier this week. They went ok, she screamed once she realised that a big needle was going into her arm but perked up soon after. However while seeing the doctor we had a big talk about some issues that have been affecting me, and 90 minutes later, I had referrals for tests up the whazoo. The doctor is concerned about my blood pressure. It has always been high, and I just shrug it off as family related, but she wants to rule out other issues and then refer me on to a cardiologist. I am ok with this as I'm not getting younger, and it is not getting better. And it definitely affected my pregnancy towards the end. I also have a lump in breast so need to have an ultrasound and a mammogram. The doctor doesn't think that it is anything serious, probably a cyst, but better be safe than sorry. I thought I was ok with this, but suddenly the possibility of it being something worse has me a little worried. I am also worried about how much all of these tests are going to cost although to date I have been lucky and the doctor has bulk billed me.

Which brings me to my next issue - someone, somewhere in the world, has gotten our credit card details and decided that buying over $350 dollars of lego online would be a good idea. Now I love lego, but that is alot! So we are tyring to sort it out with the credit card company but based on other people's experiences it may take months to sort out. In the meantime we have put a stop to the card which means we are down a card, with the possibility that we have to wear that cost.

And we are not getting much sleep over here. I have dropped Charlotte's breastfeeds down to one a day which I am actually really happy about. It was alot easier than I thought in terms of how it would affect me. The main problem has been night times as I had been feeding Charlotte to sleep for ages now in the vain hope that she would actually sleep. So the last few nights she has woken up and wanted a feed, which I haven't been giving to her. It has taken a fair bit of patience to try and settle her back down. On top of that, the virus that I had over Christmas is still lurking and I have a terrible cough at night time which is really troubling me. But today we bought a vaporizer so I will try that and hope it makes some difference.

But on the plus side, at the doctors we got a referral back to our IVF specialist. I am booked in to see him in a few weeks. The thought of doing it all again is simultaneously terrifying and exciting. The other day I wasn't sure if I did want to do it just yet, but then I saw a teeny tiny baby and got all teary - I really really really want another baby. So here goes. And other positives, did I mention that I'm down to one breastfeed a day! I have really had enough of it, and I don't think Charlotte really wants it anymore, and I can't see the benefit. So in a few weeks we will drop that last feed. I have to do that before going on IVF anyway so it is a good incentive.

Ok, so that's it for the moment, life you can go back to being nice and boring please.