Saturday, December 3, 2011

More things you don't want to hear...

I wrote a post ages ago about things you don't want to hear when you are going through IVF. Well I can now write one about dealing with a brain tumour. It has taken me a staggeringly short amount of time to become annoyed at peoples responses and also what people say in general.

A saying that is very common is "Two words you don't want to hear...". I've used it myself when I wrote about the threatened miscarriage. Tonight I heard it on the news. "Two words you don't want to hear is...seafood shortage". Umm really? A friend recently posted on facebook "Two words you don't want to hear is...upgrade declined". Umm wow. How about two words you don't want to hear is brain tumour! I'm really struggling with that emotion - people are entitled to their first world problems, but escalating a first world problem such as lack of seafood to the same status as blobby doesn't sit well with me.

Another thing I'm struggling with is people saying "Oh good that it's benign". Yes it is very good that it is benign. It means that it hasn't spread to other areas. But it doesn't mean harmless. It is still pressing on vital brain structures. We can't just leave it there. I will probably still need really big surgery and treatment to get rid of it. Yes I know I'm so lucky it isn't malignant but gee whiz, I don't see it as "good that it is benign". Good would be not having it in the first place.

I'm sure there will be more sayings as time goes on that push those buttons so I should learn to deal with them. Maybe that is two words I should learn - more patience.

1 comment:

  1. Hi there I am over from haidee but also remember you from PACC. People say the weirdest things because they literally don't know how to respond to real issues. I mean a seafood crisis lets all talk about that but a tumor lets look for the most banal comment we can come up with and change the topic quick. three years of infertility I still shudder at the useless supportive comments I got. I am devastated for you. You have done the hard yards yet now this? Sending you love and support and here to foLlow you on the next stage of your journey.