Once again it has been a long time since I posted. I have struggled to find the motivation to post. I did write a really long one about how I thought Charlotte's behaviour had improved, she was nearly toilet trained, how good a mummy I was etc. And then some other dramas have happened and she went backwards. I was actually really surprised at this. Her behaviour changes have been small, but to me, quite significant.
Just to fill you in, the last few months have looked like this - James gets kidney stones and needs an ambulance escort to hospital, Charlotte gets very sick with a UTI, James goes away, James comes home and has knee surgery on that darn injury from the last time he went away, James wakes up with chest pain a few days later and gets another ride in an ambulance, I have a minor car accident that has made me anxious about driving. And then this week, a close family member (I'm just keeping who quiet at this stage) has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. This is shocking news and has me reeling. They are optimistic about their prognosis, however my experiences with MS are with very sick clients in the community although they appear to be the minority. On a selfish note, I am very anxious about my health. I have been seeing the GP about the ongoing dizziness I had during the pregnancy. It is also one of the symptoms of MS (I have since found out). I'm not quite sure what to do next. I actually have to go and get a hearing test then go back to see my GP who will refer me to an ENT. I also have to see a cardiologist as my blood pressure is still going haywire. When I go back to my GP I will request an MRI - just in case.
But back to Charlotte. I thought we had protected her from much of the ongoing stress. When she was sick with the UTI she was very clingy (she again had temps of 40 degrees, it was a little bit funny at the time because she became delirious and was really cute if it hadn't of been so scary). That set her toilet training back. And then James went away. The day he left, she came home from daycare and asked where Daddy was, I said away on a plane. She then said "Daddy's gone away and is never coming back". My jaw dropped and I wiped away a tear. Where did she pick that up from? And then that day, she started wetting herself again. We had several days where she just refused to go to the toilet until I went back to the basic reinforcements that we used at the beginning. I am staggered at how relatively minor events in her life have affected her so deeply.
So we are now finally back to a manageable level with her behaviour. It does help that I have decided not to try to get her to have a day sleep anymore. I was getting so frustrated about it but now I just won't push it. She often falls asleep on the couch so does get some rest time although I don't which is frustrating since Angus has decided that waking up at 4am is the best thing in the world! I hope I can protect her from my stress levels although this latest news is shocking. Angus of course has remained oblivious to what has been going on which is a blessing. I hope that our resilience levels can remain high because I feel they are being sorely tested now.
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