A bit of a bad week

I don't often share all the bad times. I tend to have a bad day at least once every week or so. In the last few months that has improved tremendously, and I might just have a bad morning that an afternoon nap fixes, or just one day that is bad but some really good ones after that. Unfortunately I seem to have had a bad week.  I'm not quite sure what set me off. I have probably overdone it. We had all the excitement of Charlotte's birthday and her birthday party. I felt like I was running on adrenaline for a couple of days. This isn't as good as it sounds as the dex. can play havoc with my normal cortisol/adrenaline levels so feeling a bit overstressed can really muck it up further. I also decided last week to increase my exercise and tried to do some running.

By Thursday I was a wreck. Thankfully it was a daycare day so once they were packed off I slept, then lay on the couch, then slept some more, more couch time - you get the picture. I also decided to drop a dose of the dex which may have been a bit silly. Friday I dragged myself to the gym for a light workout but I was still feeling awful. Nothing obvious, just more fatigued than usual, more nauseous, dizzier. I also had an earache which probably sounds like a small thing. However, just before I was admitted in April, I had an earache from the swelling so I now associate that with tumour swelling.

We managed to do some things on the weekend - shopping, catching up with friends, some swims in the pool (I find being in the pool very therapeutic), but I wasn't feeling any better. On Monday I tried to tackle some housework which had drastically taken a backseat. I bent down and popped a muscle in my thigh. Which was odd, and extremely painful. A few hours later I did it again in my calf which was excruciating. I then spent the next few hours getting myself very anxious about why I was suddenly having muscle spasms/cramps. Dr Google got a workout. My paranoia was in overdrive. Did I have low potassium? Was it low because I had cushings syndrome? Did I have a muscle myopathy? Was it a DVT? And around I went. And yes, I then sat and cried. It is times like this that I realise that I am sick; that other people don't have to worry about these things. It took a phone call to my Mum for a sanity check to calm me down a bit, otherwise I was all keen to go up to the hospital. I more than likely had low potassium or sodium but due to the heat, and not anything sinister. So James cooked up a delicious meal packed with things that contained potassium (sundried tomatoes are remarkably high in potassium and very yummy in a pasta dish too), and I had an early night as I was simply exhausted.

Today I am feeling so much better. This has been the longest time I've felt so unwell for quite some time. I have to keep reminding myself that I am a squillion times better than I was 7 months ago when I was admitted, however it is scary feeling this sick. And it is overwhelming when you are trying to take care of the kids, do housework and so on. I had wanted to take the kids out today, but we had another quiet day at home. Quiet if you don't count making muffins, cleaning out cupboards, playing games, making a rocket ship picture, doing some washing, separating screaming/fighting children, and having a swim. But I do intend to have a quiet one tomorrow. And after a terrible week, I am still on the lower dose of dex too - 0.75mg and on the way down, although I might just wait a bit before trying that again.