Another month gone

Time really flys so quickly. I feel like life is so busy but when I think about what I've done, I really can't think of anything! The days blur into a mess of nappies, food, sleep or no sleep! We had a visit from my parents last week which was lovely. They are so good with Charlotte and Mum even babysat one night so James and I could go to the movies. We went and saw Julie & Julia in Gold Class. It was a nice movie although I didn't like the ending. But one part in it brought tears to my eyes, when Julia Child's gets a letter from her sister saying that she is pregnant. She begins to cry and has to assert to her husband that she is happy. I'm sure that anyone who has never known the burden of infertility probably thought she was crying because she was happy. Whereas I was thinking "I know that pain, that grief of your baby that will never be" and I weeped with her.
So we have gone another month without getting pregnant. AF arrived while my parents were here so I really didn't have the chance to stop and think about it, which was probably a good thing. I am still really torn about when we go back to the clinic. My deadline of Charlotte being 12 months is fast approaching, and I don't quite feel ready to do IVF again. But I am still really worried about the new caps to the medicare safety net. I rang the clinic the other day and they don't know what they will be. I think that is outrageous that the clinics don't know how it will impact on their fees.
But I saw a story on 60 minutes about women who have frequent miscarriages and who have had successful pregnancies after taking steroids. New research has found an autoimmune response that is causing the miscarriages. It made me think of my treatment, and that after 5 failed embryo transfers, the one that worked was when I was taking prednisone. Perhaps I too have an autoimmune response? I do want to go back to the specialist to talk about this and see if there is any testing that can be done. But I have to stop procrastinating and see the GP first. James is going away on business very soon so I have to do it before then!