Hair

Lately I have been thinking alot about my hair. This is very unusual for me since I've long had a love/hate relationship with it.

Just like Charlotte, I started off as a bald baby, and eventually grew some wavy, snowy white hair. I've always been aware that this is unusual. I have memories as a young child where people have stopped and commented on it. My hair has always been very fine, very wispy, and very slow growing. As I grew up, there wasn't too much that we could do with it. I think I had my first ponytail when I started school and Mum would put it up into a "fountain". I eventually managed to grow it long enough to put it into a bun for ballet but that took a long time. However when I stopped dancing (in grade 7) I chopped it all off.

High school didn't improve my self-esteem in relationship to my hair. I was teased about it. People would call me albino, or the boys would make lewd comments. I was even accused of bleaching it. Of course I did some of the usual teenage things like trying to dye it. It doesn't hold a dye very well so they would invariably wash out in a week or two, which was probably a good thing given that I'm sure I went a few different shades of pink and orange.

By university it had started to become a little darker although I did have one occasion where it turned bright pink (it may or may not have happened at 3am after one too many drinks). I still felt self conscious about it. Particularly since I seemed to go through a period where every hairdresser I went to would try to sell me a lavender (or similar) shampoo "to try and take the yellow out of it".

I have never gone to the hairdressers all that frequently. At the moment, I seem to only manage once or twice a year. I simply don't have the inclination to spend that much money. I did go through a phase in my mid to late twenties when I was working and had more money. I discovered that I could put "lowlights" in my hair and that a half head of foils did wonders for my appearance (and lightened the hip pocket too). However as time goes on my hair has become naturally darker (but lightens in the sun).

And then Charlotte was born. At first she was a baldy baby, but it became evident that she would have the same snowy white hair as I did. Except hers is curly, and oh so beautiful. I run my hands through her hair everyday and marvel at how wonderful it is. People stop and comment on how lovely her blonde curly hair is. What has once been something about myself that I have loathed, is now one of the most marvellous things about my daughter; and so it has made me re-evaluate my own self image. 

This last week I have become a little fixated on my hair. The radiation was supposed to make it fall out, but I wasn't sure how much or where. It seems that I have lost some hair (I've been running my hands through it all week watching strand by strand come away) but not in one specific spot. So if you look at my head, the hair on the left side is a little thinner. Which is a relief.

From now on, I am going to appreciate each and every stand of my fine, wispy, slow growing hair and make sure that Charlotte knows just how special her and her hair is.