The threenager

I have a threenager. I am not enjoying her company too much right now. We are having some issues with her behaviour. I think some of it is related to blobby and my being in hospital (which I'll write about separately) but I think most of it is the fact that she is 3. Some days I'm ok with this - every one has difficulties with 3 year olds and their behaviours. And other days I feel like an utterly incompetent human being. The threenager is crafty like that. They target your weaknesses and just go for them. I thought I would share an exchange that happened the other night, just in case I'm not alone.

Sitting down to dinner.
Me: Charlotte eat your dinner
C: I want sauce on it (yes I am one of those parents that puts tomato sauce on my child's food. Hey she eats it, and it's got vegetables in it right?)
Me: Look there is sauce on your pasta, and on the yummy rissoles Daddy has made.
C: I don't like rissoles.
Me: Sigh. Daddy I would like some wine with dinner.
C: I need to go to the toilet
Me: Ok off you go
C: But you need to watch me.
Me: I can see you from here (the toilet is literally 3 metres or less from the dining table in a straight line).
C: (howling, falling on the floor) but I want you to take me. I can't walk
Me: Go to the toilet before you have an accident.
C: But my legs don't work (howling). I can't stand up!!!
Me: Sigh. Daddy did you pour the wine?
C: I neeeeed you to watch me!!!! I caaaan't waaaaalk!!
Me: If you don't get up and go there is no dessert (yes I am one of those parents that bribes their children with dessert)
C: (after about 5 mins of howling, with her crawling to the toilet, she arrives. I am doing the competent parent act and ignoring bad behaviour. See how well it is working). Uh oh, I didn't make it (wees on the floor).
Me: SIGH. (cleans up the mess). Back to the table and eat your dinner.
C: But it's got sauce on it, I don't want it.
Me: Daddy, there isn't enough wine. Not nearly enough.