We have a plan

We arrived at the radio-oncologist today with some trepidation. Sitting in the waiting room was confronting. There was people getting chemo with bald heads, a young man with a large craniotomy scar. A man with a large red patch on his head that looked a little like sunburn.

Then there was James, myself, and the two munchkins making a racket.

The first words David, the specialist, said was "I can fix this" and my hopes soared.

He was optimistic that stereo-tactic radiosurgery (SRS) would stop the tumour growing. David outlined the risks which do include death and nerve damage but highlighted that no-one has died in his 14 years of performing this procedure. He did however emphasise that while it may stop the tumour growing, it may not stop the symptoms; which he seemed genuinely apologetic for. Nevertheless the risks associated with SRS are significantly less than with surgery.

David was emphatic that this was the best course of treatment, and that also we begin it as soon as possible. He based this on my symptoms and the size of the tumour (not large, but definitely not small either). Especially since I do feel I'm getting a bit worse at the moment. Unfortunately there will be an out of pocket expense of about $3000 but with what we have already spent just to have children, this is small change.

So tomorrow I will book the planning session. This will involve an MRI and a CT scan to locate the tumor. They will then make a mask of my face that will be used to position me in the radiation machine so that I can't move. They then take this data to create a treatment plan and work out how many doses of radiation I will need. SRS works by firing many small beams of radiation directly into the tumour. It has less side effects than normal radiation as it is highly localised and so you don't need as many doses. We don't know just yet how many I will need but it is likely to be around 5 (just based on what Dr. Google tells me).

Once that planning stage is complete (about a week) I will start. The treatments only take around 15 minutes each. The immediate risks are due to the brain swelling but they will likely give me some prednisone to ease that. He assured me that this will be ok to continue breastfeeding (I had already researched and found out that radiation doesn't affect breastmilk at all, but I'm not sure about the prednisone). The other main side effect is fatigue. But since I'm already fatigued, I think I can live with that.

I'm feeling many things. A bit fearful. Very overwhelmed. Extremely relieved. Slightly disappointed that it may not relieve the symptoms but as I have mentioned before, I am coming to the realisation that no matter what approach we took, I would have some side effects. At least now we are limiting them before they really become problematic. I felt very comfortable with our doctor, which is good since I will need yearly follow ups from now until whenever.

Deep breaths. Look out blobby, here we come!

Here is an article about the machine at the Premion Cancer centre where I will get treatment.